Prelude: Things that happened today: (just in case I forgot why on earth this whole entry came about). Voice lesson with Thomas Kuek then attending the chamber singers' lunch recital and then Peimin's 21st birthday surprise (quite BOOMZ one).

Disclaimer: What's mentioned above and what's mentioned below are meant to be treated as mutually exclusive. I just happen to link my random thoughts to events that happen (hence the mutual exclusivity).

Honestly I didn't expect myself to be lapsing into this inward emo feeling. But at least I'm glad that it's happening again, means an opportunity to reflect upon myself and all. (If I'm not in the right mood, also very hard to reflect.)

I realised that more often than not, I'm finding ways and means to pinpoint other ppl's faults and reflect it back to them, be it telling them in a nice way or rant back, but either way, the bitchy frustration in me kicks in. It somehow came to a point in time whereby I do it so much that I subconsciously forgot that I have my own flaws too, and hence continuously finding fault in others, thinking "omgs, that person's such an idiot la." When someone shoots back at me, it first depends on the person who's bringing it up (see whether the person's comments are credible or not) and then react accordingly. However, when it happens (and it happens at a medium-low frequency), somehow I've never really seem to be able to take it to heart. Today, it just seems to different. Two mutually exclusive friends shot at me with regard to my bitch ass attitude, one day after another. Coupled with that I'm slowly starting to feel excluded by friends (okay, not to the extent of ostracising but, yeah la the friendship ties doesn't feel as strong). Now, I am taking it to heart. If two mutually exclusive friends are signalling me the same thing, then I probably believe that the two are right.

Probably some of ya'll who're reading this and know me fairly enough would be thinking "omgs stupid idiot now then you realised?!" Unfortunately I may have to admit but yes I have now realised and felt the weight on my heart. Well as the saying goes "It is easier to see the splinter in another's eye than to see the plank in one's own."

As of now I can't really pen down my thoughts because they're still in a blur. It's gonna take a long period so I may just pop by this blog to update and all when I've thoughts concrete enough to put down.

I have spoken ~ 11/12/2009 01:30:00 AM

I have spoken ~ 11/02/2009 11:45:00 AM

YEAHHH midterms are OVERRRR.

But that doesn't mean it's the end of the stress.

Here's my to-do list:
- Churn out remaining MIDIs (ASAP)
- Arrange some more scores for NUS Choir (ASAP)
- Plan for Sports Fiesta for VC/VJChoir (obviously finish planning before 17th Oct)
- 'Homework' for my ATCL pieces (by 7 Oct)
- MA2101 HW3 (by 12 Oct)
- MA2213 Lab3 (by 14 Oct)
- MA2108 HW3 (by 16 Oct)
- MA2213 HW2 (by 23 Oct)

I bet this is like half the list, (cos I bet i forgot half of it HAHA.)

okay now that you know i'm still busy after midterms, it shouldn't be of any wonder that the blog entry ends here. hahaha. till i come back again next time! :D haha.

I have spoken ~ 10/03/2009 09:04:00 PM

I have spoken ~ 9/20/2009 01:22:00 AM

I have spoken ~ 9/08/2009 11:00:00 PM

I have spoken ~ 9/06/2009 10:38:00 PM

If I had the liberty to say what I want here w/o any consequences I'd have said it out here now.

Man I can't believe that the moment I think about it my blood boils immediately. And unfortunately so, it has to happen during lectures. I get so distracted by the thought for a good 15min that when I start to listen to lecture again, I ended up asking my friend really stupid questions that my other friend sitting in front of me had to turn back and say "wah, we've been on that for 15 min alreaady and you still dunno what's g(x)??"

Incompetence, insincerity and lack of tact put together. perfect combo to boil my blood.

I have spoken ~ 9/01/2009 04:14:00 PM